A new mother has sparked widespread support online after refusing her husband’s aunt’s request to breastfeed her infant daughter—a boundary the mother said was not only crossed, but also disregarded by family members and, later, even her spouse.

Licensed psychologist Cynthia Edwards-Hawver told Newsweek the incident highlights a deeper issue often faced by new mothers navigating complex family dynamics.

“Let me be crystal clear: a mother has the right to say no to anything involving her baby’s body. Period,” Edwards-Hawver said. “No one, no matter how maternal, well-meaning, or ‘nurturing’ they claim to be, gets to override a parent’s instincts.”

The 27-year-old mother, who posted her story to Reddit under u/MenuFit4296 on April 6, said that she had given birth two months earlier and was happily nursing her child. Her husband’s family, whom she described as “tight-knit” and “Southern,” were generally welcoming—except for one aunt.

“Pam,” a pseudonym used by the woman in the post, is described as being in her late 40s with grown children of her own and an unusual obsession with infants. During a family visit, Pam held and rocked the baby before asking, “Do you mind if I try to breastfeed her? It helps with bonding.”

“I legit thought she was joking,” the woman said. “I kind of laughed and said, ‘wait, what?'”

Despite her surprise, Pam was entirely serious. “I did it with my niece when she was a baby, it calmed her right down,” Pam said, according to the post. “I’ve always had a strong maternal instinct, it’s completely natural.”

The mother refused, firmly and repeatedly, but Pam became offended. The situation escalated when other relatives began messaging the new mother to say she had “overreacted,” insisting Pam was simply “nurturing.”

While her husband initially supported her decision, he later wavered, saying, “maybe it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”

“No. I’m not letting someone else’s boob near my child. Full stop,” the woman said in response.

Her post has since received more than 8,800 upvotes and hundreds of supportive comments.

For Edwards-Hawver, the incident underscores what she identifies as a troubling pattern.

“As a psychologist who works with moms navigating toxic dynamics and manipulation, I see this kind of situation more often than people think,” she said. “A new mom sets a boundary, and instead of that boundary being respected, she’s gaslit.

“She’s told she’s overreacting, uptight, or dramatic, when, in reality, she’s protecting her child, as she should.”

Edwards-Hawver said that, while shared breastfeeding—known historically as wet nursing—does have cultural precedent, unsolicited offers without medical necessity or invitation are “a massive overstep.”

“What’s even more concerning is the emotional manipulation that followed,” Edwards-Hawver added. “When someone says ‘no,’ and the response is guilt-tripping, triangulation with other family members, and public shaming—that’s toxic. It’s not support. It’s control.”

Edwards-Hawver also pointed to what she described as “classic covert narcissism,” where a person asserts moral superiority through their self-image as a caregiver, then retaliates when denied access or authority.

“This need for control wrapped in caretaking is a major red flag,” Edwards-Hawver said. “Narcissistic or emotionally immature relatives often mask their entitlement with language like, ‘I just care so much,’ or, ‘It’s for the baby’s good.’

“But the second they’re told, ‘No,’ their true colors show: offense, blame, and a campaign to turn others against the boundary-setter.”

To new parents, Edwards-Hawver offered direct guidance: “If something feels off, it usually is. New moms need to be told that they can trust their gut, that their no means no, and that setting limits, even with ‘sweet’ relatives, is not selfish. It’s safe, it’s smart, and it’s necessary.”

And to the husband wavering under family pressure, Edwards-Hawver was unequivocal, and viewers on Reddit have also taken the woman’s side.

“Sure, wet nursing is a thing, but I’m pretty sure your husband’s aunt isn’t lactating,” one viewer said. “What she was doing was offering her boob as a pacifier. Weird and creepy at best.”

“OP [original poster], you were not out of line,” another added. “You were protecting your baby and you are not responsible for Pam’s feelings or her offense.”

Edwards-Hawver added: “I say this with love, but new moms need to remember: your job is not to keep the peace; it’s to protect your partner and your child.”

Newsweek reached out to u/menufit4296 for more information via Reddit.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.